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Sorry about last week; just forgot to hit the button! Doh!


Cramer, who is a sociopath, owns TheStreet.com with Marty Peretz, who is an aristocrat.

Hey, Mark, Ann Coulter’s on the phone.  She thinks you need to reel it in a bit.

Seriously, I don’t claim to be a professional copy editor or anything, but if I were, and that’s the opening line of a piece I’m evaluating, that’s where I stop reading.  Is Mitchell really expecting to have this taken seriously as some kind of landmark exposé?  Or is he deliberately setting himself up to fail here so as to “prove” that the mainstream hates him and therefore he must be onto something?

Anyway, thus begins a section which spends about 80% of its length in smear-a-palooza mode.  But rather than do any kind of in-depth trashing of anyone’s character, Mitchell indulges in more of a buffet-style smear, a little of this, a little of that, now on to him, now on to her.

For instance, with Peretz’s introduction here you’d expect him to be the subject for a fair amount of time.  But in point of fact, he’s all but forgotten after the first paragraph.  The spotlight momentarily moves back to Cramer’s early days working for soon-to-be-infamous Wall Street figure Ivan Boesky, before going off on a tangent about Michael Milken, how many suspect he was the person Byrne intended to identify as the “Sith Lord”, and how Byrne has apparently subsequently decided there was no single Sith Lord after all but rather the enemy was some kind of collective evil “like Al Qaeda”.  Of course never mind that even Al Qaeda had a well-established hierarchy before they got driven into the caves… oh, but why am I expecting any sense out these metaphors anyway?

Anyway, back on track, after Boesky, Cramer’s next boss was Michael Steinhardt, and it’s his turn in the smearlight.  He’s of course a “thug” (one of Mitchell’s favorite epithets it seems) and “it is said” (note the brave lack of attribution) that Steinhardt “showed no remorse” after an employee had a heart attack.

The story moves on to Steinhardt’s father, “the biggest Mafia fence in America” per Mitchell, back momentarily to Peretz (who Mitchell feels compelled to remind us funded Cramer’s hedge fund, even though he just said that four paragraphs earlier), and then on to Mark Rich, recipient of a rather controversial pardon from Bill Clinton.

Lest he be perceived as showing any sex discrimination, Mitchell adds to his hit list Cramer’s wife (not specifically named apart from Cramer’s nickname of “Trading Goddess”) and CNBC anchor Maria Bartiromo.

All in all, quite a display from the man who was just a couple of sections ago complaining about how anyone that nettled these guys would be subject to a vicious smear campaign.  Self-justification in advance or just a total lack of self-awareness?  You be the judge.

Finally Mitchell settles down for a while on one of his boss’s most archest of enemies, David Rocker, by way of leading in an extremely roundabout way back to where he left off last section with the SEC’s investigation of Gradient Analytics, and its decision to issue subpoenas to numerous journalists — basically anyone who had written critically of Overstock.com to date — to see who’s been talking to whom, when, and about what.

But we’ve already covered why journalists (of which Mitchell again seems to exclude himself) generally consider that a bad thing, so let’s cut to the big finish.  Cramer and Greenberg have “commandeered CNBC” (never mind the little detail that this was on Cramer’s show where he can and does talk about anything he wants to as along as it has some relation to Wall Street).  And Cramer pulls out his subpoena — maybe a copy, maybe the original, who knows — and writes “BULL” on it in large black marker, before ripping it up.

Gasp.

I suppose it would be nasty of me to note that, even as Mitchell attempts to construct a cliffhanger moment out of this (even as he’s stretched the narrative of this moment across three sections — does he think he’s writing for Dragonball Z or something?) he’s already spoiled the resolution: the whole “cowardice and strange events” thing that led to the SEC backing down.

It’s pretty clear that this moment is why these guys fire so much ammo Cramer’s way.  He effectively called them all out on national cable TV and publicly humiliated them (via those in the SEC that had done their bidding) and got clean away with it.  And that’s just something that sticks in their collective craw to this very day, even as Cramer has rather paradoxically seemed to have come around to embrace the idea that short sellers are out of control.  (Then again, he also thinks that companies are out of control too.  And that — all together now — it’s all George Bush’s fault.)

Next week: the public reaction to Cramer’s stunt.  Or lack thereof, and why that’s apparently a horrible thing.

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One Trackback/Pingback

  1. By Section Twenty: The End? « Heart of Deepness on 17 Nov 2008 at 1:31 pm

    […] Junk Bond King” as well as the man most strongly hinted to be Patrick Byrne’s infamous Sith Lord, back when Byrne was sticking to the story that the Sith Lord was a single, known individual.  And […]

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