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Well I guess the silence speaks for itself.  The chopper has landed and I’ve stepped aboard, to return to the civilized world, albeit a world remarkably changed in the last twenty weeks.  But getting into that would be a topic for another blog.

As a parting gift, for those with enough morbid curiousity to care how the story ends, I’ve decided to do a one-sentence review of each of the remaining sections.

21. Mitchell recaps the story thus far, but phrases it in the hypothetical for some reason.
22. Roddy Boyd, who from Mitchell’s writings seems to be a habitual Bugs Bunny impressionist, is in the spotlight.
23. Gary Weiss, Sam Antar, Mr. Pink and Floyd Schneider each take their turn in the slime machine.
24. A section ostensibly devoted to Gary Weiss, but soon strays into Manuel Asensio and Ed Manfredonia, the latter of whom once offered a job Mitchell probably now wishes he’d taken.
25. Speaking of jobs, Mitchell recalls an event from his final days at CJR, when a fellow named Michael Wilkins showed up with a bundle of money in tow, after which Mitchell seems to decide he doesn’t want to talk about what happened.
26. We are introduced to Judd Bagley, cyberstalker extraordinaire.
27. An odd little tale about Gary Weiss, Ian Williams, their wives and the U.N.
28. A super-sized section on Weiss and the various wars over Wikipedia.
29. A much shorter section wherein Mitchell throws his hands up and trashes Wikipedia.
30. Mitchell moves on to the DTCC, quite possibly the most poorly understood entity in the world of stocks, and naturally adds to the misunderstanding.
31. The narrative suddenly reverts back to 2004, and talks about David Rocker, who is not the Mob, but from Mitchell’s point of view might as well be.
32. Jim Cramer, supposedly acting on Rocker’s behalf, comes on CNBC to cast aspersions on Overstock’s revenue projections, except they apparently weren’t projections so much as hypotheses, or something, so it was all unfair I guess.
33. Patrick Byrne snaps, and starts talking to the Easter Bunny.
34. The Easter Bunny sounds like a nut in 2004, as opposed to today, where he… well never mind.
35. Roddy Boyd publishes a picture of Byrne with a UFO; Boyd later had to apologize to the UFO.
36. Mitchell decides Refco collapsed because of phantom shares.
37. Mitchell nominates the Easter Bunny for a Pulitzer.
38. The Easter Bunny is unmasked, or not, and Patrick fires a mole, who now has a much better job.
39. Mitchell trashes another article dubious of the naked-shorting gospel, contributed to by a man supposedly named Spyro Contogouris.
40. Mitchell turns to trash the article’s author, Bethany MacLean, but finds himself a bit constrained given how she was instrumental in cracking the Enron story.
41. Mitchell finally decides MacLean was unfair to MBIA, the mortgage insurer that Mitchell offhandedly admits was now having “some difficulty” (no kidding!)
42. Showing remarkable focus for once, Mitchell stays on MacLean, detailing how she apparently convinced Eliot Spitzer to investigate MBIA.
43. Still more MacLean, as Mitchell complains about another “hatchet job” against Byrne, like he has room to talk.
44. Mitchell concedes one point made by MacLean, to the effect that Byrne changed his opinion of a column 180 degrees in the space of two days.
45. Mitchell sulks that a conference on naked shorting got less press than the sentencing of Anthony Elgindy.
46. Mitchell starts out by trashing a church pastor, then switches up and talks about how Byrne didn’t get timely delivery of Overstock stock once.
47. We’re back to the journalist subpeona episode, with a bonus sulk that Mitchell can’t get himself booked on CNBC.
48. Mitchell stumbles into the arena of PIPE investments, which are in fact a real problem, but of course can’t resist adding his own twist about how they need bashing messages to work.
49. The Easter Bunny holds court at the Forbes mansion (no, seriously).
50. The highly amusing tale of the Dateline NBC piece on “StockGate”, which was pulled at the last minute to Mitchell’s obvious vexation.
51. Mitchell decides the pulling of “StockGate” was the doing of the DTCC.
52. The “pajamahadeen” (Mitchell’s term, I swear!) takes to the street in protest.
53. Patrick Byrne buys into the whole thing, and boy hasn’t that done him a world of good.
54. The StockGate story finally airs, but Mitchell is incensed that NBC has decided against taking sides.
55. Byrne goes on Ron Insana’s CNBC show and makes an ass of himself, again.
56. Mitchell still doesn’t get why the naked shorting story hasn’t ignited the firestorm he thinks it merits.
57. Patrick Byrne gets on CNBC to plug a website.
58. Patrick interviews with a reporter named Karen Richardson, then rushes to his hotel room and trashes the story before she even writes it.
59. Karen Richardson gets curious about Byrne’s medical history, as are we all.
60. I think this is another summary section, but it’s so disjointed I totally can’t tell.
61. Mitchell realizes he hasn’t yet trashed Chris Byron, so he takes care of that.
62. Mitchell apparently gets a mole into a meeting where a bunch of Mitchell’s favorite journalists have a big laugh off of Byrne’s antics.
63. Gary Matsumoto, whose signature journalistic piece is about soldiers being used unwittingly for medical experiments, embraces the naked shorting tale fully and promises a breakthrough article on the topic.
64. Milberg gets theirs, and more on the Wikipedia wars.
65. Gary Aguirre’s battle with the SEC, which has nothing to do with naked shorting, but the SEC was on the enemies’ list at the time, so of course Byrne and company jumped all over it.
66. The media’s reaction to the Aguirre battle, and how Roddy Boyd supposedly wanted to destroy Pulitzer winner Gretchen Morgenson.
67. The SEC officially declares David Patch a “bozo”.
68. Next up is Escala, who the news media records was a giant Ponzi scheme, but of course Mitchell knows their only problem was — say it with me — phantom shares.
69. Mitchell attends a cocktail party where someone says that naked shorting happens a lot.
70. The SEC backs off of Gradient Analytics and starts an investigation of Overstock, which of course proves they’re now all in on the scheme.
71. Senator Orrin Hatch is apparently even more nuts than Patrick Byrne.
72. Mitchell remembers that he left the Wilkins narrative unfinished and tries to resume it.
73. Mitchell mentions his resgination from CJR, and is gentle with them but trashes his successor.
74. Something about shears through a restaurant window and SEC action against Goldman Sachs, of which Mitchell’s angle is consternation that it apparently has nothing to do with Patrick Byrne.
75. Patrick Byrne gets a death threat at a greasy-spoon diner in NYC, but apparently the threatener didn’t mean it.
76. A rough month for Byrne, as the Utah legislature decides not to commit financial suicide based on Byrne’s paranoia.
77. Byrne goes totally unhinged and sues everybody.
78. Matsumoto writes his naked shorting piece…
79. …and everybody ignores it.
80. Christopher Cox unexpectedly hops on the naked shorting bandwagon, or at least that’s how it’s interpreted.
81. Bear Stearns collapses, and Mitchell declares that the culprit is… well you take a guess.

And that’s that.  Today Patrick Byrne is trying to claim that this whole economic mess could have been averted had everyone just listened to him, but nobody has time for him anymore.  Not even me.

Stay strong, everyone.

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5 Comments

  1. Nice effort, Kevin.

    • Deep Crapture
    • Posted November 28, 2008 at 7:01 pm
    • Permalink

    Not even a “pretend ignore” from the Nauseating Spectacle. Evidently this blog really got under his skin.

  2. Hey Judd,

    No word from Overstock.com’s resident cyberstalker about the company not complying with GAAP in reporting revenues since inception, the company’s so-called customer refund and credit accounting errors, and the company using a non-compliant EBITDA disclosure to materially overstate financial performance in violation of Regulation G?

    • Fatrick Burne
    • Posted December 1, 2008 at 11:45 pm
    • Permalink

    Great blog, but it did take Deep Crap more seriously than it deserved.

    • douchebag Lee
    • Posted December 2, 2008 at 2:27 am
    • Permalink

    If I had read this blog first it would have saved a few hours from my life.


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